Well, it took a long time for this post to come about. The two stages not discussed till now are bargaining and acceptance.
What do we mean by bargaining? We tell others we will do anything if “this or that” will happen.
Many of us do that with God. We tell Him if He will get us our jobs back or find another good one quickly, we will help to feed the poor, buy tens to the homeless, buy clothes for a kid who mom can’t afford them and on and on.
Does this stage of grief serve a purpose? Probably not. It seems as if it just keeps us in a denial status or gives us false hope. It also can keep us stuck in a place that crates other issues. It prevents us from looking seriously for another job.
It can also bring that deep depression back because in the long run, if whoever we are attempting to bargain with can not uphold their part of it, or the part we have placed upon them, we lose trust in others or God.
We could potentially lose friends or the respect of others. It could also make us “victims” in other’s eyes or when we look in the mirror. By the time we realize that bargaining is not a good idea, we are angry with ourselves for thinking that bargaining would work. We then become angry with those we attempt to bargain with.
Acceptance is the best stage and it usually means that we have worked through most other stages and issues caused by each phase. At this point, most would have taken the time to understand what needs to happen in order to change some hopeless attitudes and feelings.
This also would find most people looking for positive ways to change a dismal situation. Obviously, this would be the stage that one would have the most peace and hope in.
Be careful though, as this does not mean it is the end. You may not find a job as soon as you are hoping. You may, have to take a reduction in pay when you find another one.
This could either bring you back to the anger or depression stages. We will experience triggers that cause stages to reoccur. This also happens when we lose someone we love; a first birthday or holiday that passes, a song on the radio, an anniversary etc. can make these stages come and go.
What then? Talk to someone. Let someone help you process through the feelings and these unwanted stages of grief. It is different for everyone as each experience is viewed differently and some get through it in a matter of weeks and others, years. Take your time. Don’t let anyone push you to quickly or too hard. A little push is ok if you are the type that does not move well on their own.
These posts focused on job loss due to the rise in people out of work and the economy issues in the United States. All across the nation, people are either out of work, in danger of losing their positions or being asked to work for little pay. It is a struggle for so many in our local communities.
Find someone to talk to. Of course, you can use Renewing Hearts to process here in Central Florida. If you are not near our local center, we will do our best to help you find someone in your community.
These stages of grief are seen when any loss occurs in life; death, job loss, home foreclosures, a sudden disability, the loss of a pet, divorce, etc. Find a trusted friend, family member or counselor who can listen to you when you are sad, depressed, crying angry while screaming; it’s all good, when you are confiding in someone you trust.
This post is not intended to treat or diagnose any mental health issue. Please see a licenced professional if you feel you are at risk for depression, anxiety or any other mental health condition.
