It was mentioned in the first post on this topic, that there is a process one may go through when loss occurs. Not everyone will experience it in the same ways but here are some of the phases one might experience:
- Shock
- Denial
- Anger
- Depression
- Bargaining
- Acceptance
The most common of these phases seen first is shock or anger. It is very common to react to the person firing or laying off, and that reaction is not usually the most productive. Screaming and yelling, throwing things, begging, hysterical tears/drama or complete silence is what is commonly observed. Some people will make an attempt to go to someone else with higher authority to plead their case. In most cases, none of this is helpful.
It is important to do your very best to listen, first. Try to hear what is being said, in order to understand why it is happening. There are so many questions: Why is this happening to me? When is this action going to take affect? How will I live? How will I tell my family or friends? What should I do now? None of these questions can be answered while reacting in anger or while being struck silent in shock. It is so important to try to remain calm. Do not over react. Do your very best to not show your anger or pain until you have had time away from the situation to process it, a bit. Some of these questions will be answered at the time you are being told of this decision. Some can be answered by your human resources departments. It is also common for some to turn to stress eating, drinking or drugs for quick relief.
What can you do to get through the shock and/or anger in a healthy manner? A few ideas may be excessive activity like brisk walking or jogging. It could be taking a long hot bath. It could be talking it over with your spouse, parents, friends or a counselor. Take time for yourself to process. These things are best to do long before you try to fix the issues this will cause. It is important to not try to make big decisions about other jobs, vacations, getting out of your marriage, taking it out on those closest to you etc, until you had taken the time needed to process through the emotions.
Remember that this is not a reflection usually of who you are. Many are losing their jobs at this point in time due to the economical state of our nation. In the case that it is your own actions that caused this loss, then it would be more important to see a counselor so that you can work on the reasons behind the behaviors that caused it. Stay tuned for the next post.
