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Dear Friends,

We here at Renewing Hearts Inc. wish to scream out our biggest thank you ever for being one of our supporters throughout 2009. Your contributions have helped to assist us in serving well over 50 individuals and families. Most have come so far in their process of healing and we are so grateful to you for helping us, to help, them.

As you know, counseling is a huge investment of both monetary and and time value. We would love to be able to double the amount of clients this next year. We look forward to working with you and sharing with you some wonderful success stories. We are hoping to have an event towards the end of the year just for that purpose.

It is always our joy to see couples reunite, families reconcile with one another, teens grow into responsible young adults and women learn to value themselves after devastating circumstances, we feel like we have done what we were meant to do.

We have unfortunately had to turn down three couples or families due to not having a Spanish speaking counselor on board. Please let us know if you know a good one to help us out or pray that we can afford to pay one in this next year. Your support and the support of your friends and family would greatly be appreciated. Please share our vision with others you know.

Another way you might be able to help us out is by allowing us to speak to your coworkers or clubs and share with them the mission and vision of Renewing Hearts so that they too, can join us in the healing process of so many who could not otherwise get the help they need during trying times and a need for emotional and relational restoration.

Once again, let me say from the deepest part of my heart, thank you for being on our team and making donations to a very worthwhile cause. We all appreciate you and your trust in us as counselors and support system. We are truly honored to have your support and we will never take it lightly.

With gratitude,

Alicia Eidson MA, M.F.T.

Director of Clinical Services

Orlando Shooting

We here at Renewing Hearts realize that so many of us have been impacted by the news in the past couple of days especially those near our headquarters in Central Florida.

It was bad enough to hear about the shooting in Ft. Hood in Texas and see all those people’s lives end so abruptly and unnecessarily. What a tragedy that was.

Now, we are reading and hearing on the news about a mom who has allegedly abuse her 7 month old baby and tried to hide it with her baby sitter. What goes on in a person’s mind? Mercer, (mom) and Baker (baby sitter) have both been arrested. That probably gives most of us a sense of relief, to say the least. Shannon, (7 month old baby) seems to be ok.

To top it off, we have to experience another tragic shooting right in downtown Orlando, right where we live. More innocent people killed for no apparent reason. These are our neighbors. It makes us so sad. More than that, we are angry! What is going to happen to the people who  do these despicable acts to the innocent?

Our mind goes crazy wondering what Jason Rodriguez was thinking; “I want revenge!? Will they get my message?” While the rest of us ask, “Is he mentally ill?” None of us can fathom what must have been going on in his mind to injure 5 people and murder 1. What? Does this mean that every engineer who loses his job should feel like he should go on a shooting rage to get back or prove something? We think not!

What must it have been like for those people trapped while Rodriguez was on his rampage? Tremendous fear, anxiety and panic, for sure. Our hearts go out to all of you who had to live through this act of horror. We are so very sorry for each one of you. Those of you who were actually there in the midst of it all, must be going through emotions that no other, will experience.

We, at Renewing Hearts wish to lend support if we can. Please know that we are available to talk to you and lend a listening ear and help you with other resources, if need be. You our neighbors, friends and family, and we care about you greatly.

Some of you are close to those who were there and we want you to know that Every person will handle this differently so do not have expectations or tell them how they should feel or behave. Let them process it with you, or with someone they trust. Some may be angry, some weepy, some may develop PTSD. If you are a friend, family member or neighbor, give lots of hugs, don’t push just let them be, unless the behavior is out of control. This could be drinking or drugs. It could be wanting revenge and coming up with a plan. Of course, this would be an extreme, but it is a possibility so be sensitive to each one’s reaction to their experience.

Since most of us were not there, we cannot understand what was experienced or felt from their perspectives.  It is true that all of us had strong feelings when we saw the news show him being escorted away from his mother’s house. CNN reports that when he was asked why he did it his reply was, “They left me to rot.”

What does that do to our hearts and minds? If it is strong for us, then again I ask, what does this do to those who lost a family member or who are sitting at the hospital with their wounded friends or spouses? It all is very disconcerting, I’m sure.

Be a friend. Show love and care. Give space, where needed. Don’t over protect. It is a challenge, but it is worth it to those who need us.

September 11th

Wow! Hard to believe that it has been 8 years ago the World Trade Center was taken out.

Do you remember that Day? What were you doing? What were you feeling as you watched those planes crash in the buildings that were so populated and well used? This was a landmark in time in America.

I remember getting ready for school. My friend Wendy, picked me up for school. She said, “Turn on the TV! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it!”

My son and I turned it on and were riveted to what was going on. The incredible devastation; it was horrifying!

Wendy was crying and I was angry. I could not believe that was happening, much less who was responsible.

When I got to school it seemed that everyone had heard and was sad, angry, scared and very anxious as to what might happen next. Many were praying, some crying, some quiet and others ready to fight back.

I want us to remember as the people who were there, the children who lost their parents, the men and women who lost spouses, those who lost children and friends, will never forget. Is there a way you can reach out tomorrow to someone who remembers and falls back into grief? We can pray for them, we can listen to their stories, we can be a friend and love them.

Every American was touched in one way or another by this tremendous act of despicable nonsensical behavior. We will all need to talk to some degree. We will all need to listen.

We here at Renewing Hearts staff are sad to announce that two of our board members are leaving us now that their terms are up.  Douglas Ary, due to work travel and life busyness and Sheryl Love due to illness are going to take a break.

Their volunteer hours have been so appreciated and needed and we are not sure how we will replace them. There are no two others alike.

Our best wishes go out to both of you and we love you both so very much. Thanks for your incredible service and heart for what we are doing. You were here at the very beginning and you will never be forgotten for sharing our vision.

Rick Eidson, President

Alicia Eidson, Director of Clinical Services

Scott overpeck, Director of Development

Brett Butler, Director

Scott Coupland, Director

Bill Gorman, Director

Well, it took a long time for this post to come about. The two stages not discussed till now are bargaining and acceptance.

What do we mean by bargaining?   We tell others we will do anything if “this or that” will happen.

Many of us do that with God.  We tell Him if He will get us our jobs back or find another good one quickly, we will help to feed the poor, buy tens to the homeless, buy clothes for a kid who mom can’t afford them and on and on.

Does this stage of grief serve a purpose? Probably not. It seems as if it just keeps us in a denial status or gives us false hope. It also can keep us stuck in a place that crates other issues. It prevents us from looking seriously for another job.

It can also bring that deep depression back because in the long run, if whoever we are attempting to bargain with can not uphold their part of it, or the part we have placed upon them, we lose trust in others or God.

We could potentially lose friends or the respect of others. It could also make us “victims” in other’s eyes or when we look in the mirror. By the time we realize that bargaining is not a good idea, we are angry with ourselves for thinking that bargaining would work. We then become angry with those we attempt to bargain with.

Acceptance is the best stage and it usually means that we have worked through most other stages and issues caused by each phase. At this point, most would have taken the time to understand what needs to happen in order to change some hopeless attitudes and feelings.

This also would find most people looking for positive ways to change a dismal situation. Obviously, this would be the stage that one would have the most peace and hope in.

Be careful though, as this does not mean it is the end. You may not find a job as soon as you are hoping. You may, have to take a reduction in pay when you find another one.

This could either bring you back to the anger or depression stages. We will experience triggers that cause stages to reoccur. This also happens when we lose someone we love; a first birthday or holiday that passes, a song on the radio, an anniversary etc. can make these stages come and go.

What then? Talk to someone. Let someone help you process through the feelings and these unwanted stages of grief. It is different for everyone as each experience is viewed differently and some get through it in a matter of weeks and others, years. Take your time. Don’t let anyone push you to quickly or too hard. A little push is ok if you are the type that does not move well on their own.

These posts focused on job loss due to the rise in people out of work and the economy issues in the United States. All across the nation, people are either out of work, in danger of losing their positions or being asked to work for little pay. It is a struggle for so many in our local communities.

Find someone to talk to. Of course, you can use Renewing Hearts to process here in Central Florida.  If you are not near our local center, we will do our best to help you find someone in your community.

These stages of grief are seen when any loss occurs in life; death, job loss, home foreclosures, a sudden disability, the loss of a pet, divorce, etc. Find a trusted friend, family member or counselor who can listen to you when you are sad, depressed, crying angry while screaming; it’s all good, when you are confiding in someone you trust.

This post is not intended to treat or diagnose any mental health issue.  Please see a licenced professional if you feel you are at risk for depression, anxiety or any other mental health condition.

Just added this to our feedback page, but thought it was pretty cool and wanted you all to see it.

Mrs. Alicia!

You are such an amazing person; I mean that from the bottom of my heart!! And I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and everything you have done for me and my family.

You have had such a positive impact on my life and I really look up to you as a counselor, and my friend. I think that your kids are very lucky to have you, just like I am very lucky to have my mama.

I especially want to tell you what a great Christian you are and what an encouraging person, as well. I am so glad to have you and I am always praying for you and your family!!!!!

I LOVE YOU MRS. ALICIA!!!!!!!!  (–female, age 15)

Things like this are only possible through your generous investment in these families’ lives and I hope that you would consider checking out our donations and get involved pages to help expand our services to more families, couples and individuals in need.

I recently found out that I am not going to have a place to teach at our local community college in the fall. This summer will be the last time I get to do something that I have loved for quite some time now. I feel so bad about it.


First, I am so very sad. I love teaching. I feel so good when my students, “get it”. I love making them laugh and think about the subject matter with maturity and some good common sense. I made the classes fun and made them one that my students love to attend. I prepared classes, brought in special speakers on specific topics and of course, gave tough tests. All in all, I think I loved it and so did they. Now, the department does not have a place for me. I am crushed! All day I cried and then I got mad. Who was I mad at? I was mad at the new department head and mad at God. What did I ask myself? Is it me? Did I not do something correctly? Well, I asked myself a million questions but I won’t list them all!


I have a great husband who can pay the bills and our two daughters schooling. He helps out our son when he and his wife needs help, too. He is a good man. It makes me feel like one of the kids though, when I have to ask him for money. Am I dealing with a pride issue? I would love the freedom to be able to help the homeless, give to our church family, help out neighbors, go to lunch with a friend or be selfish once in a while and buy myself stuff I don’t really need! I have been able to do this for a long time while making my own money. Now, I can’t unless I ask for it. I am not good at that. I would rather go without.


Ok, so this is not nearly as bad as some of you who are the ones being depended upon for the main income. Some of you have nothing else to rely on. I just wanted to share with you my experience to show how losing a job has an affect on each one us, and that each one of us deals with it differently, but there are some commonalities.


In our economy just having the gas prices go up again is a killer for most. We are all being touched by this. We all need to deal with it. We all need to be sensitive to others in these situations because we never know when it is going to be us.


Should I be acting like the “victim” or should I use this situation to give me time to work harder on Renewing Hearts and seeing it grow to a national organization? Should I find another job? Should I move forward, wherever that may be? All these are good questions. I think I will attempt to answer them when the sadness calms down and when I can think clearly. I will take my own advice!!

Well just barely.  Our good friends and supporters Loveless Apparel, had an article written about their business, their apparel and all the organizations they support, including Renewing Hearts.

In the article, Jerriann Sullivan of the Central Florida Future writes,

In an effort to fulfill their mission of loving less to love more, they work with nonprofits that help…lower-income people who can’t afford the therapy.  The funding helps provide counseling and additional resources they need.

We are excited to help and are always looking for great partners to help us to work with families and individuals to meet needs before they turn into crisis situations.

If you would like to get involved we have several opportunities:

Would you mind checking out the article and leaving a comment about how much you appreciate their coverage.  It would be great if they would do a write up of us since they are local to our first counseling center. As I am sure you know, traffic is their revenue driver (through advertising) so if mentioning us gets them extra traffic I am sure they would be happy to bring some more coverage our way.

We need partner therapists around the country who are able to add one pro bono client to their schedule.

We need both one time and monthly financial partners able to help us manage our growing client and infrastructure needs.  Our volunteer base is strong, but need the support of some paid staff.

Occasionally, we have simple filing needs in our Winter Springs, Florida headquarters.

We always appreciate social media love.  Tell your friends about our Twitter, Facebook and Myspace pages. Write a blog post about us?  Let us know and we will send some traffic your way.

Lastly, we have several projects in the works that will hopefully yield some exposure for a few corporate sponsors and we would love for you to be a part. Let us know if your company would like to donate goods, services or money to help raise support at a few different charity events we are planning for this year and next.

For more details please email our development director, Scott Overpeck.

L is for Loser by DRP

L is for Loser by DRP

In our last post we highlighted shock and anger, just a bit. Of course, there is so much more to this. You may need to work through these stages with a counselor or someone you trust to listen, and not judge.


We will look at denial and depression this time. Denial is sometimes, made fun of. Sometimes, it is judged by those who really do not understand the situation or have never experienced the unexpected loss of their job or career.


Denial is that stage of nonacceptance or unbelief. This could be a part of the shock coming out, as well. Denial could be seen in some that will try to explain it away or pretend it did not happen or not be honest about it or its impact on the one who lost the job. It is hard to admit especially when others on depending on you to bring in the income to pay the bills, feed the family or buy clothes.


It is even harder to admit to it when the person was fired. Not only does the pay check stop, but so does the sense of being “good enough”. What happens to a person’s value when this happens? It is shot, in many cases. Often times, men ask themselves if their spouse will stay with them if they can not support them and their children.


Husbands and fathers that have lost their sense of productivity and value. This leads into the stage of depression. Here in Florida, the suicide rate is sky rocketing as it is in many cities. Many families are being touched. It has devastated many! Many of these suicides reported have been men.


Depression can be situational or clinical/chronic. Some who are depressed have a serious lack of neurological/ chemical imbalance. This could mean the only way out is an antidepressant. There are some very good organic/natural medications as well as, antidepressants that your doctor could prescribe. The natural ones such as St. John’s Wartz are found in stores like GNC, or Design for Health. Tyrosine is a great way to help moods and it seems to work similarly to the antidepressants that are on the market.


These are all ideas for you to discuss with your family physician or psychiatrist. Please keep in mind that all meds affect each person’s chemistry differently and so each person needs to be sure they are doing what is right according to your physicians, your body chemistry and only you yourself, can make the final decisions on your own health.


Do your homework. All meds also have side affects that you need to be aware of. Medication usually works best if you are accompanying it with talk therapy. Sometimes changing ineffective or unhealthy behaviors must happen in order to feel better and be productive in healing and finding new positions in the work force. A good counselor or friend can help one process through these types of situations.


Denial and depression are the stages most evident in a person’s thought processing and actions. If you know someone in these stages, be a good listener. If you feel like suicide is an issue, then do not ignore it. Take it seriously and report it to a hot line, counselor, police or family member, at the very least.


Patrick Morley discusses how important it is to remember that if either you or a friend/family member is going through one of these stages, no major decisions should be made until there is some time to get over the reactionary, emotional stuff one goes through in these times of trouble, in his book,  How to Survive the Economic Meltdown.


Disclaimer: This blog post is not to be a substitute for professional help or advice. Please consider seeking out professional help if you consider yourself to be at risk for any mental health related issues.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.  For information regarding medication please contact your physician or psychiatrist.

Loveless Apparel

Loveless Apparel

Our friends at Loveless Apparel, just posted a new blog letting everyone know about a promo code (its summer if you don’t want to click through). I thought it would be a good time to remind you all that you can support us by simply buying a shirt they designed specifically for us.

Buy me. Help others.

Buy me. Help others.

 

 

Could not be a simpler way to help people, right?

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